I think I may have made an enemy of my downstairs neighbor. We moved in around the same time (late August) but have just been "nodding acquaintances." She's also Chinese, though probably about 5-10 years older than I am. I initially made friendly talk but she didn't reciprocate so I left it at that. Her parents live with her and they also don't speak to me if we happen to run into each other.
A few weeks ago, my parents came to visit and I think my neighbors heard me speaking Chinese, because suddenly my neighbor began to speak to me, just a bit, but in Chinese. She still wasn't buddy-buddy or anything, but she'd say hi and how was your day? type of stuff. Until this weekend, that is. Unexpectedly she came knocking at my door and I invited her in. She seemed nervous and kept making small talk, so I tried to be extra friendly and offered tea and snacks.
Then she came to the heart of the matter; she asked if I would mind if she had a satellite dish installed, so they could receive Asian cable TV stations. I said that was a matter to ask the apartment complex people, not me. Then she said, would I mind having the dish installed off MY balcony?
My immediate reaction was, if she were a close friend or relative, then I wouldn't hesitate to say Yes. But she's a relative stranger, and to me, asking that sort of favor, which involves me as a third party including all sorts of responsibilities, is really pushing the "kindness to strangers" policy too far. I first asked her if she'd tried placing the dish just outside and seeing if she could receive signal. She said my balcony was blocking the sky; I told her to try moving it out from under my balcony. She said I was higher up so I should receive better signal. I then blurted out that no matter what, satellite signal comes from teh sky no matter what, doesn't matter if you're on the ground or the 6-10 feet higher up where I am on the second floor.
That sort of pissed her off, me being direct (and she probably thought I was being obstinate). Then I said I wasn't comfortable with having people enter my apartment to install the dish. She said they'd use a ladder and do it outside. Then I asked what things I'd be liable for. She didn't understand the word, and I couldnt' really get the point across because I was using Chinese; I was trying to explain possible legal issues and stuff, like if the dish broke or fell off my porch, what in the contract would prevent me from being blamed, stuff like that.
then she tried to appeal to me personally. She said her parents were bored and really wanted to have that cable TV installed. Sure, I felt badly; one of my priorities is to take care of my parents. Still, using that tactic was a bit sneaky, makes me look like a total bad guy. I asked her more about her parents and then she revealed they were returning back to China at the end of next month! So she'd only be having dish satellite installed for one month? Yes. I then told her there were options to download/watch Chinese broadcast TV and movies online, or they can rent videos from our local Asian grocery store and library. She then got angry and said I was not a considerate person.
Did I do the wrong thing? My main concern was the basic issue that, since my property (balcony) was being involved, then no matter what, I would have some responsibility of whatever was on it or attached to it. Never mind the fact I felt it was rude for the neighbor/stranger to presume she could pressure me into agreeing, and then for her to result to pity and then bullying tactics. Still, I tried to say No nicely and I still end up feeling like the bad person. Makes me just want to throw up my hands and scream (Aiya!!!).
Would you have done differently? (long rant)
January 22nd, 2007 at 02:06 pm
January 22nd, 2007 at 02:27 pm 1169476073
January 22nd, 2007 at 03:18 pm 1169479084
January 22nd, 2007 at 03:22 pm 1169479325
January 22nd, 2007 at 03:24 pm 1169479486
January 22nd, 2007 at 03:41 pm 1169480517
If she just knew it would be okay, she wouldn't of asked she'd just of had them install by ladder and you'd of come home to find it there.
It's actually the landlord's decision, but I don't THINK you'd be responsible, but I've been wrong before!
January 22nd, 2007 at 03:56 pm 1169481382
January 22nd, 2007 at 04:32 pm 1169483525
In fact, I wonder if she's not up to something somewhat illegal. And then who would be the one liable for it? That's right, you. Because it would be off of your porch. And installing satellite for only ONE month? No, that's complete and utter bull.
I'm glad it wasn't me, because if someone did that to me... um, I might have given her a piece of my mind.
January 22nd, 2007 at 04:54 pm 1169484882
January 22nd, 2007 at 05:10 pm 1169485816
January 22nd, 2007 at 05:32 pm 1169487175
January 22nd, 2007 at 05:42 pm 1169487740
I think you were well within your rights to decline.
January 22nd, 2007 at 06:46 pm 1169491579
January 22nd, 2007 at 11:32 pm 1169508750
January 23rd, 2007 at 01:08 am 1169514512
January 23rd, 2007 at 04:18 am 1169525925
Flash did the right thing, and so did you.
I'd revel in being the total bad guy. Being a bad guy to a crook isn't bad.
January 28th, 2007 at 09:16 pm 1170018977